


All Because You Love Me

by DeepPerplexity



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling, Snapedom - Fandom
Genre: Allienation, Angst, Blood, Fighting, Harsh Language, Hate, Hogwarts, Loneliness, Love, Love Confessions, Love/Hate, Other, Pain, Professors, Shunning, Tension, You turn me into
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-01
Updated: 2021-01-01
Packaged: 2021-03-10 17:14:28
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,281
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28450728
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DeepPerplexity/pseuds/DeepPerplexity
Summary: You loved him, but he turned you into an angry person. He was brimming with darkness, yet you could not keep away from him. You loved him, yet he treated you as if you were a nuisance and not even worth calling by your given name. You did your best to stay happy, stay true to yourself but he pushed you further and further until you finally snapped and that was the day it all changed. But not, however, for the better...
Relationships: Professor Snape/Half-blood!Professor!Reader, Professor Snape/Reader, Professor/Professor - Relationship, Snape x GN Reader, Snape/GN Reader, Snape/Reader, snape x reader - Relationship
Comments: 6
Kudos: 32
Collections: Reader Insert, Snape and Reader Collection





	All Because You Love Me

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Oikawas_Left_Buttcheck](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Oikawas_Left_Buttcheck/gifts).



> **Request:** "Hi love all of your stories, can you make a Snape X Half-Blood Professor reader where they have a love-hate relationship and in the end they end up confessing there love to each other when Severis becomes more nicer to her than all the other professors? Thank You I would very appreciate it. // large-obsession" (Tumblr)
> 
>  **Setting:** Hogwarts 
> 
> **ABBR.:** │(y/n) - Your Name│ (y/l/n) - Your Last Name │
> 
>  **A/N:** This was difficult to write and I don't know if I managed to do the idea in my head justice but I am kind of satisfied with this anyway? O.O I hope you all will enjoy it!

**Why couldn't** he just leave you the fuck alone? Was it really that hard to just mind his own damn business? You fumed as your feet pounded the stone floor on your way to your classroom. Not only had you been forced to deal with a crying student, the havoc-wreaking Peeves and so, consequentially, you also missed breakfast. Oh no, no, you also had to deal with him. Professor Severus Snape. The gloomy, dark, too fucking sexy professor that simply would not leave you the hell alone. He was everywhere, around every corner. Even at night when you slumbered deeply under the covers he infiltrated your mind with harsh words and domineering sneers that made you ache. 

You sighed heavily as you pulled open the door to the classroom. All students already present and waiting for you.   
"Sorry for being late, had a bit of a poltergeist problem," you grumbled as you shut the door with a harsh bang that echoed through the room while you took quick, short steps in a hurry to get to the desk and start the first class of the new week.   
"Open your books, page 287. Hurry up," you said as your anger still simmered and brewed just below the surface. It was unfortunate for the sixth years that seemed to wonder what was up with you, you were usually so cheerful and happy while teaching. _Well, not today apparently, bloody poltergeists and billowing cloaks with galaxy eyes and- no no no, stop that! You hate the man's guts! Stop, stop, stop!_

You shook your head, tried to find your usual sense of self while plastering on a smile in the hopes it would etch itself to your lips for the rest of the day.   
"Now, who would like to ask a question for the day?" You always asked the students to ask one question regarding the lessons material as you always made sure to tell them at the end of the previous lesson what they would be working on next. A Hufflepuff girl reached her hand up and as she asked her question, that you would answer throughout the lesson, the first class was underway. It gave you something to focus on, to tether yourself to and eventually your mind focused on the subject - to the delight of the students - as your regular disposition returned with a true smile etched on your lips. 

**First and** second class had gone by smoothly after the little hiccup in the morning. You were happily dismissing the fourth years for lunch when your stomach grumbled something fiercely. _Food, sustenance, gosh, I'm starving_ , you thought as you ordered your desk for the upcoming lesson before heading towards the Great Hall for the first food of the day for you. You closed the door gently and locked it. 

"No running!" you shouted after some Gryffindor boys as you were about to turn a corner.   
"And no shouting, (y/l/n)," a growling voice snarled just as you rounded the corner. _Oh, great, fucking great._ You glared at professor Snape as he stood a few steps away from you.   
"There should be a rule about growling," you muttered under your breath as you walked towards him. Your face was hard and your back straight.   
"What was that, (y/l/n)?" You tilted your head back a little further, nose in the air.   
"Nothing, Snape," you snarled as you passed him, "I just think you should mind your own business," you continued in a cutting voice after having passed him. 

You could have sworn you heard him grumble something behind you but you paid it no mind. You didn't want to give him the satisfaction of entertaining him. Even if your chest ached at his harsh tone. _Ignore it, just ignore the hell out of that stupid heart. IGNORE IT!_ You focused on the pinching pain in your stomach, the growling noises it made and hurried along to reach the Great Hall. Unfortunately, Snape had the same idea as he easily reached you with his long legs and that billowing cloak floating like a thundercloud around him.   
"No running," you hissed with a slight twinkle in your eyes, "I thought you were better than the students." He scoffed and arched a brow at you as he slowed his pace to walk alongside you while he spoke.   
"And I thought you were human, not a snail," he countered and then sped up yet again. You gasped at him before your fists clenched and you shook with anger. He got you there. You were, truly, a slow walker. Even when you tried to walk fast you were slow as a snail. 

He disappeared around another corner and you tried to walk faster. But it was impossible. You could not take long strides and you could only take so many steps in a short moment. So once you arrived at the Great Hall and entered Snape had already taken his place. You seethed as you saw him sneer out a defiant smile at you. You stalked up to the table and took your place on the opposite side of the table. Food appeared and you gulped it down in a flurry of motions as you truly were starved. All other things disappeared and your stomach rejoiced as it slowly filled up; one bite at a time. 

"Hungry, aren't we?" You choked on your juice as Snape's voice rumbled right beside you.   
"Are you trying to kill me?!" you shouted at him and he had the gall to look taken aback at your harsh tone. You smacked down your glass and rose in such haste the chair nearly toppled over.   
"Are you _trying_ to give me a heart attack?!" you screamed as you stalked towards him while you paid no mind to the staring students or the shocked expression on Minerva's face as you poked Snape's chest with the tips of your fingers. 

He staggered backwards, "Seriously Snape! Don't just pop up like that! You could have killed me!" He arched a brow at you while your cheeks turned pink with anger and embarrassment as he looked down on you. The swirling dark of his eyes sucked you in and your heart tugged yet again. _Not now!_ Your thoughts snarled at the roaring and hissing from your heart to be closer.  
"I did not _pop, up,_ " he drawled, "I merely asked if you were hungry."   
"You popped up! You scared me!" you shouted before you shoved at him again, with your palms that time. His chest felt tight under them and you wanted to leave them there as your heart pounded harder while he glared at you.   
"(Y/n), control yourself," Minerva said with a chiding voice, you spun your head towards her so fast it felt as if your neck would snap.   
"He merely asked if you-"   
"No, no he scared me half to death is what he did. As he always does. Popping up, growling, lurking in corridors and sticking his nose in other people's business!" 

After that you pushed Snape aside as the other professors gawked at you, stunned as you were usually a happy, cheerful person that wouldn't even hurt a fly. You stomped out of the Great Hall with quick, short steps as tears began to roll down your cheeks. You were so sick and tired of his behaviour. You had been nothing but nice towards him when you started working at Hogwarts a little over a year ago. He had merely drawled and growled, lurked in corridors and commented on your teaching and lesson plans. Never a kind word for you, yet he was always there - pestering you to no end.

In the dark man's defence, some of it wasn't even his fault. You loved him and you had to do anything you could to push him out of your heart, to banish the thoughts and dreams of him. Why did you love him? No fucking clue. You just did. He was marvellous, handsome, commanding, strong, harsh yet helpful in his own way. Not to mention the voice that thundered from his vocal cords. It made your knees weak every time you heard it. That's why you always straightened your back, hardened your face around him. You were not going to give him the satisfaction of seeing how hard his harsh words and haunting glares were on you. _Simply not happening so I should stop this damn crying now, for heaven's sake I mean absolutely jack shit to him. He never even calls me by my name, I'm just (y/l/n) to him, unlike all other staff members._

You stomped your way up some stairs as you were heading towards your classroom. Even though there were nearly 40 minutes left before the next class would begin. You wiped your cheeks to get rid of the tears. A student stopped you, a Slytherin girl from your morning class. A very curious girl who always sat at the front and asked question after question after question.  
"Professor (y/l/n), are you alright?"   
"Oh pipe it, Greene!" you snarled and the girl looked frightened as your harsh face twisted towards hers. Despite the tears that flowed down your cheeks you somehow managed to look utterly enraged at the poor student.   
"I'm-, I'm sorry professor, I didn't-"   
"I said pipe it, go bother your head of house instead!" You walked past the hunching student as guilt filled you. It wasn't her fault Snape was so evil towards you. You stopped and walked back down the three steps you had walked from the girl. 

"Ms Greene, I'm sorry, I'm fine. Just, go eat some lunch," you sighed out as the girl nodded without saying a word. She walked off, seemingly still taken aback by your harsh way with her. You sighed and snivelled ever so slightly.   
"(Y/n)." Your head jerked up as Dumbledores voice rang through the air.   
"Headmaster? Yes?" you stuttered as you wiped your eyes one more time.   
"You are quite harsh with the students," he said as he peered at you from above his spectacles. Your cheeks blushed as you lowered your head.   
"It has never happened before, it won't happen again headmaster," you stuttered weakly. _Just my luck that you see me the one damn time I lose it for a moment._  
"See to it that it does not, this is their home and we are family." You clenched your jaw as you did your utmost not to let harsh words about Snape slip past your lips by the mentioning of being family. 

**The week** passed as you felt more and more alienated by the other staff members. Your explosion in the Great Hall was no secret, and apparently there was a rumour spreading about your interaction with Ms Greene. Only, it wasn't at all true. It was twisted and far from what had truly happened. You were depicted as a monster who shouted at the poor girl for minutes and there were no mentions of your apology. To top it off someone had seen Dumbledore reprimand you and that had at some point, around Wednesday you would say, been added to the rumour and it turned even more twisted. You had been loved by your students for your cheerful and happy ways, your gentle teaching and approach to your subject but now, most of that was ruined. 

Nobody spoke to you as they had done before. Snape seemed to be around you less, he didn't pop up around corners or comment on your slow walking - he didn't even sneer at your lesson plans as you worked on them in the teachers' lounge in the evenings. Not that you had gone to that room in two days now. It was Sunday morning and everything felt like a disaster. How could one day, one moment in time, destroy a person so completely? Had you not done so many good things? Had you not been gentle, kind, happy and supportive from the beginning? Had you not tried to befriend your colleagues and be of assistance to your students at all times? How could all of it be forgotten and replaced by one single moment in time of disaster? 

**Another three** weeks gave you the answer. No matter how hard you tried, a month after the shouting incident in the Great Hall, people still treated you differently. Treated you harshly and coldly. You had tried to explain, had tried to talk to Minerva and the others but it was no good. You were new and the other professors had been there for a long time including Snape that you went off on - they had known each other for a long time and it was no surprise they stood together. You understood that but it still did not make it acceptable. To shun someone in such a manner, without giving the person even a chance to explain. The students were a bit better but it did nothing to alleviate your pain and sorrow about the whole thing. (Even if some of them actually praised you for going off on the sort of hated professor.)

But what hurt the most, what you had thought you wanted initially, was the fact that Snape seemed to avoid you completely. Not a word, not a glance or glare. Not a scoff or harsh remark. Nothing. Just, nothing. It hurt, damn it hurt and you could not quite accept the feelings that snaked around in your veins and hissed from your heart. It made the pain more intense when your heart roared at you each time you caught a glimpse of his cloak around a corner, heard his distinct long stride from close by or the few times you saw him fully at dinner or bypassing him in the library. But you kept quiet, kept away from him as well and did not let him see the pain in your eyes as you got ever more isolated. 

You sighed as you glared at a truly shitty essay by a fifth-year student.   
"What even is this?" you hissed out as you rubbed your temples. Outside soft light shimmered as it was nearing June and the nights were bright. You looked out the window for a moment and for some reason you banged into a wall of harsh void in your mind. The joy you had felt about teaching was gone, the magic of Hogwarts seemed to disappear and you just wanted to leave. Leave it, them, all behind. Him. Leave him behind. Retreat and lick your wounds, find something else to do with your life rather than hide in shame and isolation in a moist castle with infuriating stairs that seemed to move every time you were in a rush.   
"That's it, I'm done." You abandoned your desk, left your office and headed towards the Headmasters office to resign. To throw in the towel and surrender, give up, admit defeat. _It's what they all want so why not give it to them?_

You rushed down the infernal stairs, took a few turns and then moved up staircases again on your way to see Dumbledore and give him your notice of resignation. Your eyes stung with tears but you kept them at bay. Never had you felt as horrible as you did currently. It hurt, hurt to be forced in such a horrible way to leave. Yes, it was your choice but you were forced by the actions of others. You simply could not stand it any longer. You were a gentle and sensitive person. You were focusing on what you were going to say to Dumbledore as you took a sharp corner, stomping hurriedly in quick short steps only to be fully stopped as your body smacked into something hard yet soft. 

You stumbled backwards and tried to find your balance as a cold hand gripped your wrist and steadied you.   
"Careful," Snape growled with that thundering voice as you looked up at him. Your face hardened yet softened. Your lips in a thin line as you clenched your jaw but you could not help the thrill that travelled through you at his touch and the sound of his voice. So, you glared at him as coldly as you could possibly manage with your watering eyes.   
"Sure, as if it matters to you if I'm careful or not," you hissed as you wrung your arm free from his cold grip. His eyebrows raised ever so slightly as he looked at you intently. You stepped around him and continued towards the headmaster's office. 

"It matters very much to me," Snape stated with a deep, powerful voice that vibrated through you. You looked over your shoulder. Did your best to quiet your hearts hissing and roaring about love and lust as you looked at him while your face lost its raging edge.   
"Oh I'm sure, it matters _so_ much to you. How could I not see that? Silly me, thinking all the glares, remarks and harsh words were not at all related to your care for me. Oh, how stupid," you tutted with a snarl at the end before you rolled your eyes, shook your head and kept walking.   
"Well, what else should I do?" His voice was satin soft and so low you barely heard what he said. But you did.   
"Don't think about it, just leave me alone Snape." He drew a harsh breath as you said his last name and that was it. You left and he remained, in silence.

You turned a corner and leaned against the closest wall. Your heart raced, your mind was as calm as a raging storm while your hands and knees shook. Tears leaked out of your eyes and dripped from your chin as you sank to the floor. Exhausted and utterly hopelessly sad as the love you held for him raged in your heart without your consent. You knew, all too well, you had tried with him. Tried and tried, but he had never accepted you as anything but professor (y/l/n) who were young and new and obviously had too many faults to be anything but a nuisance to him. You had tried and tried to be gentle, friendly, sweet and helpful towards him as you were met with growls and sneers that cut deeper than you had admitted from the start. And since it hurt, you turned angry, you had started sneering and glaring back at him. Remarked on things he said, commented on his behaviour. He had turned you into something you were not, just by his own darkness and harshness. _I need to leave,_ you thought as you wiped your tears away and took a few steadying breaths before you pushed yourself up from the floor and kept going. 

"Are you sure about this?" Dumbledore asked as he inspected you. You nodded. As you knew he could see you had been crying, knew he could see you were uncomfortable and no longer the person he had hired.   
"I take it I can't persuade you to stay?"   
"No, headmaster, at the end of this term I will leave. It gives you about three months to find someone new and I find that to be fair for both of us." Dumbledore looked at you intently as he peered over his spectacles. You twisted your hands where they rested in your lap.   
"I am grateful for the opportunity but I don't feel I belong here," you said as you did not want to tell him about the treatment you endured from the other staff at Hogwarts. Sure, it may have helped but then the rumours would probably just get worse as they added snitch to it. So you kept quiet about it. Not wanting to step on anyone's toes anymore despite Dumbledores words of family ringing through your head from the day everything went to hell. 

"Well, I will not force you but it's a shame, I really thought you would fit perfectly here, and I thought for sure you and Severus would-" your head snapped up and your eyes burned with hurt at the mentioning of that name.   
"I do not want to talk about that man. There is nothing between us, nor do I wish there to be." Dumbledore smiled softly and you did not like the way he looked at you, not one bit.   
"That was not my meaning, (y/n). You and Severus, I thought that you two would be great colleagues as you are quite similar in ways one probably doesn't notice straight away. You are very different, but also very alike. He's quite, well, a lonely man but-"   
"For good reasons," you interrupted as you stood up, "I am resigning as this term ends, headmaster." You turned around and as he said 'very well' you left his office. 

**The next** day you arrived for breakfast with bags under your eyes and you felt out of sorts as you had had a restless night. Twisting and turning, wondering where to go, what to do with your life and if you should tell the others about your resignation. You had decided not to do so and hoped Dumbledore didn't either. With a sigh, you sat down and a plate of toast with a cup of pitch-black coffee appeared before you. You grabbed the cup and started sipping. Nobody glanced your way, nor did they speak to you. _Doesn't matter any more, a few more weeks and I'll be gone. They can think whatever the hell they want._ You smiled to yourself as relief swept in. Soon you would be free of the shunning and alienation - free to do, well, something else and perhaps not be so miserable. 

You placed the cup down and glanced to your right to see who else was there but your eyes got stuck in Snape's. In those deep, dark galaxies of endlessness. He was looking at you. Not glaring, just looking with a weirdly pondering expression. You rolled your eyes a bit, mostly at your ignorant heart who still hissed and roared for him, and stuffed the toast into your mouth before you chugged the coffee down, wiped your mouth and left without a word to anyone. If they knew you were resigning they said nothing, if that was good or bad you didn't even want to think about. So you just headed off to start the first lesson of the day. Another Monday, another week and it all would pass, end. 

But you only got halfway before you heard the distinct sound of long strides from Snape, he was catching up to you.   
"Happy today?" he asked hoarsely with that gruff voice of his. You glanced up at him as your back straightened and your chin lifted up ever so slightly. You did your best to not falter in your pace or let him see how he made you weak at the knees just by being near. So, you did what you had done lately. You snarled back at him.   
"None of your business." He raised his eyebrows ever so slightly but quickly found himself again.   
"Well, I'd say it is my business, seeing as it is my fault you have not been happy lately," he drawled out and you could have sworn there was some sort of regret hidden in that thunderous voice despite the way he spoke to you. 

You glanced at him but he looked straight ahead as he kept up with you. It wasn't really that difficult as you were, by his own words, slow as a snail.   
"Pfth," you tutted, "as if you care," you huffed out and kept walking. Soon you'd reach your classroom and he would be forced to leave you alone.   
"I-"   
"Don't even say anything," you snarled as you stopped dead in your tracks. He faltered and stopped two steps later. As he turned towards you you folded your arms over your chest as to keep the pounding of your heart hidden - it felt as if it was visible through your clothes as hard as it was frantically beating for him.   
"You are ridiculous, you know that?" you said with a flat voice.   
"Oh, do elaborate. I do not think that is a word I have been described with before," Snape said and you rolled your eyes.   
"Just leave me alone Mr Dark and Dangerous." 

He arched a brow at you and you gasped as the words had slipped out before you could register what your brain made your mouth say. Had it been a pure-blood you spoke with they would most likely have been clueless as it was an expression used by muggles. But Snape was a half-blood, just like you were and he understood the reference. All too well it seemed by his expression. Your cheeks blushed ever so slightly as you threw your hands up in the air and barreled your way past him before he had time to utter another word. But as you glanced over your shoulder he still stood in the exact same spot. _Idiot..._ If you were calling him an idiot or yourself, you had no clue about. 

**As the** days passed Snape seemed to be nicer, more friendly and talkative. He rarely sneered, glared our spoke harshly to you and in all honesty, it felt strange. Weird and uncharacteristic for him. So as two weeks had passed and you nearly walked into him rounding a corner down in the dungeons after having lead a few stray first years down you just had to ask a question you had been pondering for a few days. 

"Do you know? Have Dumbledore told you?" you asked before he had time to ask what you were doing down in the dungeons.   
"I'm, sorry, I don't quite follow?" You sighed at his words.   
"Has he told you?"   
"Told me what, exactly? I speak quite often with the headmaster," he droned on in a gruff drawl. You sighed and rubbed your forehead with the tips of your fingers.   
"Forget it." You took a step to the left to pass him but he sidestepped as well.   
"No, tell me, please." 

You stiffened as he used that last word. A word that felt so out of place coming from his thin lips. As if some world law were broken as he vocalized that pleading word. It took you a moment to gather yourself. _Well, what's the harm, it's only a few days left before I'm gone._ Your face softened as he looked at you differently, more gently and not so darkly harsh.   
"I'm leaving,"   
"Yes, the dungeons are not your place but tell me-"   
"No you idiot," you sighed, "I'm leaving Hogwarts, when this term ends." Even though you called him an idiot, it was done with a soft voice of slight annoyance and nothing worse than that. 

He seemed to stiffen, seemed surprised. You sighed with a shrug of your shoulders.   
"Hogwarts is not for me, apparently," you said and his face hardened.   
"You got fired? For-, because-, because of me? For what happened?" His voice was different, it gently simmered with anger and it was not directed at you. But you shook your head. Not wanting to tell the reason you simply flattened your voice as much as you could as you spoke lightly.   
"I resigned, Hogwarts is just not for me, I'll try something other than teaching."   
"But you are a brilliant teacher," he said and you felt like a traveller in a different galaxy that was just all wrong. _D_ _id he just compliment me? What the-_   
"I know you are, your students excel and thrive in your classroom."   
"Thank you, but it doesn't matter, not anymore." You gave him a tiny smile and then sidestepped again to leave the dungeons. You were simply too damn tired to argue, debate or throw any harsh comments about. enough was enough. And he didn't say anything else, didn't follow. Strangely enough, your heart hurt more now as he was being friendly. Now that he was civil with you it hurt so badly that it felt as if your chest would cave in on itself. 

As the days passed you found yourself bumping into Snape more often, he talked more with you and there was an apparent effort on his side to be civil, even nice to you. But there were two differences that separated you from the other staff members when it came to Snape. One, he only addressed you as (y/l/n) rather than (y/n) as he did with the others. Two, he was more gentle with you then he was with the others. Before, he had been ruthless, harsh, bordering on cruel at times. But now, he was soft in his ways, gentle in his words and even just saying 'good afternoon' or ask 'having a good day' seemed to be food for your starved heart as it grew heavier and heavier with want and love. With a need you could not fill. 

But you found yourself reverting to your old self, your true self as time passed by and strangely enough your joy for teaching returned. But there was nothing to do about that now as you had resigned and that was that. Besides, it would be good for you to escape the dark man who had captivated you since you laid eyes on him. Despite everything and all his efforts to harm you, hurt you, keep you away your heart had only hungered more for him and as the castle was empty and all students had gone home for the summer you felt it was time to do something about it. Perhaps at least get it out of your system before leaving forever. _One regrets the things one do not do, not the things one has done as life ends._ The words of your grandfather rang through your head and it steadied you. Gave you courage.

You had packed all your things, dressed in your regular clothing that fitted you as perfectly as your own skin did. You felt like you, not the professor or the colleague - just you. _Well, in a moment I'll be just me. When I leave I will no longer be a professor or colleague._ You took a breath and headed off towards the dungeons to hunt down Snape. You would at least tell him of your feelings, and then quite possibly run away before he damned you to hell for feeling romantic things regarding him. You had no idea how he would react. But it didn't matter, it was for your sake you were going to tell him. Clear the air and perhaps shut your heart up. 

He was not in his office, or in the common room or his classroom where you knew he brewed potions in his spare time - not that the man actually had any. So you headed off towards his private quarters. You had never been there so it took a moment for you to find the door. His name shined on a little golden sign that was nailed to the door, 'Professor Snape, Private Quarters'. You steeled yourself, tried to find your courage again as your shaky fist knocked on the door. It took a mere moment for the door to be hastily pulled open,   
"If another stu-" Snape interrupted himself as you stood before him and not whoever he thought you had been. 

He stiffened, his face turned slightly paler as you looked at him. You could see his adam's apple bounce up and then down behind his cravat as he obviously swallowed quite hard.   
"(Y/l/n), what gives me the pleasure?"   
"May I come in?" you asked and he arched a brow.   
"Yes, yes, come in." You nodded at him and stepped in on shaky legs as he moved aside. The door closed behind you and it felt strangely wrong to be in his private space. Perhaps you should have just blurted it out while the door was open and you could escape him instantly afterwards.   
"Can I help you with something?" he asked and you turned towards him, followed him as he stepped around you. _Good, the door is clear._

You shook your head at him, "not really, no."   
"Well, then do enlighten me about the pleasure of your company?" Your eyes lingered in his for a moment as you for once allowed yourself to truly listen to his deep voice that vibrated through the air and your own body.   
"Well," you started as you looked down towards the floor, "I would like to tell you something," you continued as you braced yourself and looked up. Allowed your eyes to be dragged into his as you slowly floated about in the depths of his onyx eyes.   
"Go on," he murmured as he clasped his hands behind his back. He seemed to tense ever so slightly and you allowed your heart to drink him up. For just a moment you would be just you in his presence. 

_Okay, here goes all or nothing. Most likely nothing,_ you thought as you sucked in a breath of damp air.   
"I love you." The words were uttered clearly, no hesitation or any attempt at softening them. They were spoken with truth and honesty embedded in every syllable. Snape blinked at you as you merely stood there, looked at him with a nearly stoic face.   
"I just thought you ought to know." There, you had said it, you had done it. All the roaring, screaming and hissing from your heart died down. It simply pounded quietly in your chest as the truth was out. As if it held its breath for him to tell you he felt the same, but your head knew that was not what was going to happen. So, to spare yourself and him the embarrassment of stuttered words of some sort of apology, you simply turned and walked towards the door. 

The handle felt cold in an unpleasant way against your palm as you twisted the nob, pulled the door towards you and stepped out without a single glance over your shoulder towards the speechless man behind you. If you had taken a second to look at him you would have found a man who was breaking and crumbling at your words. But you did not. And the door closed gently behind you. You sighed as your shoulders rose and sunk in unison with the air that filled and then left your lungs. _Well, that was terrible._ You shook your head as reality hit you. That you did not matter to him. Every time your heart screamed for him his remained encased by walls of stone. Every time you drowned in his eyes he remained tethered to reality. You had already known it was so, but to have exposed your truth and receive nothing in return was worse than angry words of disdain in all honesty. 

The empty corridor felt deadly quiet as you began to walk away from the man you had fallen through the pits of hellish love for. You would leave, mend your shattering heart and find something to keep your mind occupied with. You already knew the future would be hard to cope with now that there were no doubts about his feelings towards you. At best disgust, at worse indifference. At least you told him and got an answer, even if your howling heart wanted nothing to do with that answer.   
"You'll mend," you whispered softly as you placed a hand over your viciously pounding heart. It tugged at you to go back, its claws dug into your soul and tried to wrench it back towards his door, towards him. But your body refused, your mind took control as your heart was obviously out of sorts at that moment. 

You jumped as a loud crashing sound was heard. Shattered glass against stone, a crescendo of clinking noises of damage and destruction. A loud bang was heard afterwards and then the sound of books or the like that fell and landed on stone as well.   
"What in the-" but you had no time to say anything else as Snape's door flew open with a loud bang as it hit the inner wall of his private quarters. You ever so slowly turned towards him as he stepped out in a flurry of black fabric that swayed from his rapid movements. 

His head turned and your eyes landed on his face. It was hard, jaw tensed, eyes darkly brimming with fire. You knitted your brow at him as your heart howled desperately in your chest, your mind did its best to hold the reins though. He saw you and his shoulders sank ever so slightly as if he released a breath, but you were not sure as he was a few steps away. A distance he rapidly closed with long rushed strides.   
"(Y/n)," he breathed out as he reached you and grabbed your wrists as if to hold you in place. His hand was wet against your skin, out of pure instinct you glanced down and saw blood dripping from it.   
"You're hurt," you stated as you seemed to be in some form of inner turmoil that kept your voice flat and your movements limited. _Shock I believe? No? Isn't this shock? I mean, he said my name, my actual name. That's, new._

He glanced down on his hand but ignored the injury and blood as he instantly looked up to you again instead.   
"Why did you not tell me sooner?" he asked with a growl as his jaw looked tense.   
"I'm sorry?"   
"Why did you. Not. Tell me. Sooner?" he repeated with force between his gritted teeth.   
"Well, that's obvious. You hate me, I understand that. From how you treated me the moment we met I've understood that." His eyes widened as you looked at him flatly, unable to portray any emotion as you were, probably, in a deep shock at your own truth and his reaction to it. 

"Elaborate," he growled. You sighed.   
"Really, do I really need to?" He nodded and you rolled your eyes as you felt your body go more and more numb. Not only had you told him but now you had to explain the whole thing to the man - how selfish could a person be? Could he not just leave you alone to wallow in your pain and sorrow?   
"Never saying my name, the glaring, the sneering and the constant remarks and harsh words. You could barely stand to look at me a few weeks ago. The moment we met you huffed at me and turned your back before storming away as if I was not even worth a second of your time." The words left you in a rush as your emotions started to catch up.   
"All the anger, the cruel words you've spoken. As if you did your utmost to push me away-"   
" _I DID!_ "

You blinked, confused as to why he shouted such words at you.   
"Okay, now you elaborate. I don't understand what I did to deserve such treatment," you said and your voice turned lower and lower. _Ah, there we go, here come the emotions..._ You felt tears sting your eyes as his grip around your wrists hardened. But that was not what made you cry, no it was the realisation that there was no going back and that the whole thing had been a horrible idea.   
"You exist, that is enough." You knitted your brows at his gritted words.   
"Excuse me for having the audacity to be born," you murmured as your throat was clogged by a knot of sadness and crying you tried to keep at bay. 

He chuckled, "you're amazing."   
"What?"   
"You're amazing," he repeated as your eyes met and he had an actual smile over his lips. You just gaped at him.   
"You, (y/n), are utterly amazing and brilliant. All packaged in such a beautiful form. I do not think I have been able to have a single moment without you in my thoughts since I first saw you. And, it's wrong."   
"What's wrong?" He smiled at your confusion.   
"That I love you, want you. That I am desperate for you," he stated with that thunderous voice of his, "I have been since that moment you were introduced and I ran away the first chance I got." You gawked at him, his hold on your wrists softened as he lowered his eyes.   
"I have done, everything, to push you away and keep you away. Everything, yet you, you just rose to the challenge. I think I still have burns from some of your remarks," he chuckled out and you wrung your hands free from him. Anger and rage pulsed through you like stinging wasps.

You shoved your hands against his chest so hard he stumbled backwards as he was unprepared.   
"You mean to tell me I have been going through hell, been turned into this awful person, all because you love me?! Are you fucking _kidding me,_ Severus?!" He gawked at you now.   
"That's, the first time you've said my name."  
"Well of course! You never used mine! You seemed to make a damn point of never calling me by my name but you did with everyone else!"   
"I never felt I had the right to utter such a beautiful word with this mouth that has said the foulest of things." You shuddered at his words, the deep darkness that thundered from his mouth. Then, you shuddered with anger again. 

"You fucking bastard," you growled, "you damn-" and words failed you as your heart sprung free from your mind and it took the reins. In the next moment, you crashed your lips against his. He stiffened for a mere second before his arms embraced you and his lips met yours eagerly.   
"Bastard," you mumbled against his lips in between breaths, "stupid, stupid, stupid, bastard," you breathed out between crashing of lips against lips as he swallowed your words.   
"I love you," he whispered against your mouth, "forgive me." You leaned back at that as you felt his tears grace your own skin. It was just tears, no crying or any other tell of the overwhelming emotions he felt for you. You reached up and kissed his lips softly, gently.   
"No more running," you said and he nodded.   
"No more hiding," you continued and he nodded yet again.   
"No more anger, just love." He leaned in and kissed your neck as he hummed his acceptance of your terms.   
"And, use my given name, you bastard," you smiled out and he chuckled against the skin of your neck.   
"I will, (y/n)." You leaned into his embrace as your idea of him shattered, only to be replaced by a new one - one you loved deeply and was free of the hatred you had thought he had for you. 

"I love you," you whispered with a slightly broken voice.   
"And I love you, I am, truly sorry," he said on a sigh.   
"What's done is done, all we can do is mend the things that are broken and love each other from here on out."   
"Perfectly put," he murmured as he straightened and looked at you. Your heart cheered its victory as your mind sulked over past hurts but you were too elated to take any notice of it. You reached up your hand to stroke his cheek before your hand gently snuggled into his hair and you dragged him towards you. Your lips met and a roaring howl of joy erupted from your heart as he passionately kissed you back. 

**Author's Note:**

> So, as I re-read and edited this I noticed I completely miss interpreted the request - but I am hoping this will do anyway :S <3


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